I’m a believer in hard work. I believe it will get you most places you want to go. And If that’s not enough, then usually the solution is to work harder.
But lately, I don’t feel confident in that.
Lately hard work doesn’t seem to make that much of a difference or more hard work on top of that.
I’m trying to ignore the I am shit, everything I do is shit, everything I touch turns to shit mentality. But it sits there like a big unwelcome pity party anyway.
It seeps into everything. Work. Finding work. Online projects. And today it even made its insidious way into my run. Which sure it was hot and I hadn’t had a recovery day from hills but it was a pretty bad run for a 10k.
I think that qualifies as the straw that broke the camel’s back. Because that’s the great thing about running. It IS all about hard work. If you put in the work, then everything follows on from that. And to have that not be the case, at least right now, is a bit of a knife in the back.
All I can do is trust that it is a process and hard work will pay off at some time in the future, even if I can’t see it just about now.
It has to get better.
Because if there is no hard work, then I kind of don’t know what that would look like.
To be happy in life I think you have to know who you are, be comfortable in it. If you know who you are you can find a strength in that.
I’m all out of strength or knowing. And that feels a whole lot like free fall.