Most of the time as I go through everyday life, things make sense. There’s a routine to it, a predictability that you become accustomed to. Everything follows a set kind of logic and there aren’t really any major surprises along the way. But then one thing happens and it all tends to snowball into an avalanche of WTF unpredictability before your very eyes.
1. Why is my three year old incapable of staying still for a single moment?
Is it a sickness? Is she somehow related to sharks? Why would a person (even an admittedly very small person) choose to snuggle on the couch with a blanket and be in a state of continual movement? WHY?! And why is the movement so annoying to me when admittedly it does not impact me in any real way other than continually messing with my peripheral vision?
2. Why am I unrealistic Facebook?
This ad was knocked back for being unachievable and unrealistic by Facebook. Well I assure you, it is achievable, Facebook. Because I freaking did it. I’m glad you are paying attention to the big issues instead of the five million ads for cosmetic surgery and losing 50kgs in 5 days that I see on Facebook ALL THE TIME. Kudos.
3. Why is my current increase in creativity combined with THROTTLED INTERNET. WHY?!
This is an unreasonable frustration. I envisage that I could have done five million more things by now if it weren’t for ridiculous throttled internet. Caused by children’s YouTube addiction. Which sure you could point the finger at me for failing to recognise and correct YouTube addiction earlier. But it’s quiet people, I can’t focus on parenting when it’s quiet. That’s against the code. You don’t ask questions, you just hope it doesn’t stop.
4. Why are there so few items for sale in the Lululemon store?
This is my entertainment with my morning coffee. Can I really browse 6 items?! No I can not. Lift your game Lululemon. Sincerely – disappointed athletic fashion addicts everywhere.
5. Why am I running a marathon alone?
Injuries are stupid. And have left me with 42.2 kilometres of ALONENESS in Sydney on the 21st September. Beginning to suspect marathons are a bad idea. But I love running long distance so much. It’s a conundrum wrapped in a riddle. Still, I’ve been guaranteed hugs, carbs and an extremely large coffee at the finish line. Definitely worth it.